Monday, September 30, 2013


Anne Geddes Heartfelt 2014 Wall Calendar

There was a daydream that I had for many years and that I loved so much.

I was so sure that IVF will work for us, it was just matter trying again and again, untill one of them worked out.  And I was always sure that I would give birth to twins.

Before I tell the daydream I have to explain that I was always known for enjoying in surprising my parents. For example:
  • when 16 telling them that I found summer job in Ireland and that I will not even ask them for permission to go
  • on a Friday evening visiting my parents and ask them what will they do next Saturday. Their answer: nothing special. So I said: "Good. Then you are invited to our wedding".
  • list could be much longer

So the daydream from the past.  I planned of telling my parents that I was pregnant at 12th week. But, it would be our secret that we are expecting twins. So in my daydream I was imagining how suprised my parents would be when they would found out that they got two grandchildren at once.

I know. Very very stupid.

It is cold and rainy autumn evening, I just returned from a walk. This daydream isn't something I think about, I almost forgot about it. Walking in the rain alone just brought memories back...

(btw: I used to love Anne Geddes photos.Now I hate them).


  1. oh Klara, I let out a huge big laugh when I read this line - btw: I used to love Anne Geddes photos.Now I hate them. The circumstance is not something to laugh about, I know. But the way you wrote it, so matter of fact and "there you go. take that Anne Geddes". I couldn't help but laugh in understanding! :):):)

    I've had many of my own daydreams about babies and pregnancy etc etc. They aren't stupid at all. They are normal and natural. We all have them. Thinking about those particular daydreams now is a sad reminder. But the daydreams themselves are good. You probably have new ones now related to other issues in your life.

    I think those of us that have those kind of daydreams are creative and hopeful people with imagination and positivity about the life ahead of us.

    Love and Light to you

    1. dear Annie,
      I am so happy that I made you laugh. Laughing is good. Therapeutical.
      I knew I am on a way to recovery when I was able to laugh on something that was infertility related.

  2. Ahhhhh...this post reminds me of a time when we were TTC and we were planning to visit my family in Indo...I daydreamed that I'd have been pregnant by then (about 3 months), so I would be feeling secure enough in my pregnancy to tell my parents about it and they'd be SO ecstatic!!! I've forgotten about this, as well, until I read this post he he he...

    1. dear Amel,
      thank you for your comment.
      Yes, we have so many memories...

  3. It is not stupid Klara....when it happens to me I take it as part of the grieving process. After IVF we adopted a sibling group of 3 - they are amazing and I adore them. However I still feel the pain of not having biological children which creeps up when I least expect. Infertility is quite the journey. My heart goes out to you ;)

    1. dear mother of three,
      thank you for your kind comment.
      I have already heard about the mother of three (she was mentioned in Pamela's book) and she said that she loves her three adopted children more then anything, but she still feels the pain of not having biological children.
      Wishing you all the best to you and your family.

  4. Me too- I had daydreams similar to you- ... between you and me, I had even gathered some photography books by Anne Geddes. I was even holding to one thinking that I'd give it to my mother as a mother's day, to announce my pregnancy, visualizing how she'd realize the message- which never happened.

    All that books were donated to an art project for school, me knowing that those'll be cut up.

    Daydreams, they are an hazard.

    1. yes, it is good to donate the books if they are not part of your life any more...