I spent few days working on a project together with a colleague from other company a month ago. I knew she was my age before meeting her. When spending so much time together it is hard to avoid any personal topic so very soon came the inevitable "Do you have any kids?". I briefly replied that we tried and couldn't.
It turned out that both of her two sons were conceived by IVF.
The next topic that she opened was: "So, have you thought about adopting?".
I replied briefly that adoption is not something we consider.
She started to make lots of really long arguments why we should adopt. She explained that is she couldn't have her own children, she would adopt.
I explained that this is also what I thought & felt few years ago. And now, when I am facing either living childfree life for ever or making a decision to try to adopt, I chose (together with my husband) the first option.
Because now I feel differently as I did few years ago. And this is something that ex-infertiles can not understand. Feelings & emotions change.
The other large discussion that we had was the nature versus nurture debate. I strongly believe that genes determinate the vast majority of someone (and with this belief it is really hard to decide for an adoption).
Anyway, this discussion took place a month ago, before my decision not to discuss adoption issue with anybody, who has children.
Have you ever heard about stolen babies in Spain:
Thousands of babies were stolen... up to the year 1990. How could something like that happen in Western Europe, not long ago?
Foreign adoption was not really an option, not for us.
How could we be sure that a child was not taken from her/his mother in an illegal way?