Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Es un sueño muy grande
I spent most of October in Italy, for work. There are many highlights whenever I go to Italy, the biggest one: their delicious food. On the photo: panna cotta con frutti di bosco / cooked sweet cream with forest berries.
There are also disadvantages: when you have to travel in cold, windy and rainy days. I got home with a terrible cold that caused stomach / lungs problems, so I am staying at home this week. I have also a terrible headache. How I wish I was healthy!
I guess that since I am not healthy some things irritate me easily. Like, watching this on BBC this morning: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-37696850
I love Spanish language. I don't speak it, but I understand a lot of it. The words that a Spanish, who just had her - I assume - first child (do I have to mention she is 62!) - Es un sueño muy grande - It is a big dream - irritated me. And it made me angry, that she is there, in front of cameras, denying that she used any infertility treatments.
Why I don't like stories like that is that they create false impression that there isn't any age limit for a woman to have a child. I am 43 and I really hope that I will never ever have to hear again that I still have time. Since I don't, at least not for having a child.
I don't always go for a lunch at work with the same people. Sometimes I join the group of 4 colleagues, who are all almost 40, all mothers of two kids. They are nice, but since there is basically only work that we all have in common, sometimes we have to struggle to find a topic for chatting. A while ago I was joining some other coworkers and those 4 colleagues were sitting together. I realized how much more vivid their conversation is, when I am not there. Since they share one thing in common: they are all mothers of young children and they were sharing fun stories over bedtime with kids.
I am glad that they didn't have this conversation when I was with them. But yet, it hurt to see that I might be seen as an disturbing element.
Twelve years ago 4 girlfriends gave me this painting of Madonna with baby Jesus:
It was wrapped in a newspaper (so I could know exactly when it was given to me) and put in a big colourful bag that you get in a shop for newborns. I got the instructions that the picture should be put under my bed, to make my dreams come to true.
I forgot that I own this painting most of the time. When I did some cleaning in the summer, I found it and I just knew I can't have it any more. I can't be remembered till the end of my life of the unfulfilled dreams over and over again (there are enough triggers without this painting already). But, what do you do with a painting like this? You can't throw it to the trash.
I cleaned the painting, wrapped it and gave it as a gift to my granny and her sister (they live together). They loved it.