Saturday, August 20, 2016

I am back


I am reading Pascal Mercier's Night Train to Lisbon and I just loved this quote, I wanted to share it with you.

I love long summer days, but I am ready for autumn, rainy days and having time to read and write.

I'm doing very well this summer. I feel already healed most of the time. But then something happens that I realize that infertility pain will always be part of my life.

I found out that my ex boss is pregnant with her first child, aged 43. I didn't meet her often, but when I did, I felt comfortable talking to her - there were never any topics in our conversation that could hurt me. I am happy that her dreams will come true. But what about my dreams?  The news really hit me for few days.

Yesterday I met our neighbours son. He was just a teenager when me and my DH were newlyweds and moved to the building. And yesterday I saw him with an infant. I didn't even know that his girlfriend was pregnant, since they don't live here. Better so. Any normal human being would stop and compliment the child or whatever. I just said hello, commented nothing and walked into our flat. You see, I am not healed at all.

I saw this quote - and it just suits my today's mood.
Otherwise I was very  busy with having fun time with husband and our beloved Wolfie during the long weekend. Here are two of our favourite spots: deep forests, where you can walk for 6 hours and meet nobody (meeting literally nobody is good since 6 bears live in this part of the country). And walking 13 kilometers around our most  beautiful alpine lake. Photos:







5 comments:

  1. Dear Klara, I am ready for fall, too :-). Already, the days are getting shorter, and since it is raining today, I enjoyed holding a hot cup of tea in my hands. I look forward to making soups again and lighting candles in the evening.

    There always seems something to disturb the peace when we think we are finally better. But you know what - I have realized it is taking less and less time to recover after such events. I hope this is the case for you, too.

    I love both quotes and your photographs are beautiful. Take care!

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    1. dear Elaine, I agree with you. It takes less and less time to recover also for me.

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  2. I love that quote too. It's a lesson that it's hard to see and enjoy the future without children, until we allow ourselves to grieve for the children we never had.

    And healing comes in stages, and dips in and out. Sometimes I am completely natural and unaffected with babies, other times I can't be near them.

    I wish I was there walking around your lake! This time three years ago (or so Fb remins me), I was just driving out of Slovenia.

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  3. Ahh, Leonard Cohen! :) Very true. Thanks for the great photos -- you do have a beautiful country!

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  4. Two great quotes to make us ponder.
    I had always hoped that as I got older, and further away from child bearing age that it would help to dampen those spasms of being childless but it seems not. Most days are good but not all.
    Leonard Cohen’s quote really rings true. We carry so much baggage with us. Some days we hardly feel it; other days it weighs us down more than I’d like to admit.

    Great pics, fantastic scenery….. I’d rather meet another hiker than a bear!! ;)

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