A dear pen-friend of mine suggested me a book "An invisible Thread", so I read it. It is beautiful true story, about friendship between childless woman and a young boy. I understood writer's feeling, when you are childless, you need to matter in someone's life.
"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, and circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break."
- Ancient Chinese proverb
The part of the book that touched my heart most is the part where the author writes about her dreams (she wanted to have children of her own, but her husband, who already had 2 children from previous marriage, was firmly against it).
"When I turned forty-two, I realized I'd all but run out of time to have two kids. Even if I could somehow miraculously convince Michael to change his mind, I'd probably only be able to have one child. It struck me that this would be selfish - that I'd be thinking only about myself and not about the child. I don't remember when exactly it happened. Maybe there wasn't a single moment, or day, or week. But over time, the dream that for years had been a nearly consuming passion simply ceased to be.
All of our stories, as much as they are about anything, are about loss. And, perhaps, they are about what might have been. I wanted happy, loving parents who danced waltzes in the living room. I wanted children of my own, desperately. We all want relationships that are healthy and resolved, and sometimes that simply doesn’t happen. But the beauty of life is that inside these disappointments are hidden the most miraculous of blessings. What we lose and what might have been pales against what we have.”
- Laura Schroff, An Invisible Thread