Thursday, February 12, 2015
Missing my daughter
I love my cousin. But sometimes I think I should give her a book with instructions what she is allowed to talk to me and what not.
Her 5-year-old daughter left today for a week with her kindergarten, to learn how to ski.
(skiing is a huge sport in my country - I don't really ski - but I am a big fan of our Tina: http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/2015/02/09/tina-maze-lindsey-vonn-combined-worlds/23143591/)
Anyway, my cousin resent me today some photos showing her daughter learning how to ski. Extra sweet photos! And she wrote me an essay how horribly quiet and empty her home is without her daughter. How she misses her. Etc. Etc.
Yes, my cousin would need a manual with a title "How to handle infertile cousins".
Obviously I understand she misses her daughter.
But how can she not understand that I miss my daughter every day. Her name would be Lucija.
If all of my wishes came true, she would be now 11 years old (there are 12 years since our honeymoon).
If my first IVF worked out, Lucija would be 9 years old.
If my tenth IVF worked out, Lucija would be 4 years old.
My cousin's daughter will be back within few days.
My daughter will always remain only in my dreams. That never came true.