Wednesday, December 10, 2014
I am not OK in December
What happened with old good fairy tales? This is an example of a a fairy tale that modern parents now buy to their kids.
A friend of mine already told me about this particular book, all excited, some months ago. I was polite, I listened and did not comment anything.
Few days ago a friend of mine had the need to tell me something more about this book, but I stopped her. I kindly asked that I really do not want to hear anything about the book.
She was surprised. She said - but it is only a story for kids about a little sperm.
So I explained. For me, this is traumatic. Because it reminds me of fertility drugs, hurtful procedures, hopes and dreams that were crushed down again and again.
I am sad. Because I know my friend needs a friend who can listen to everything that she has to say. And I am just not that kind of friend. I am damaged, for life.
It is December and parties are everywhere. I was invited to quite some of them, mainly they are work related. I am just skipping them all except one (I would love to skip it as well, but my big boss phoned me today just to make sure that I am coming there this Friday).
I don't like parties in December. Because December is the month when it is so obvious that my life just isn't as I hoped it to be.
I am OK with my childlessness and being alone most of the time 11 months per year.
I am not OK in December.
PS: but I did have just a perfect day yesterday, admiring a beautiful city abroad in Christmas decoration. I will tell you more about it tomorrow.