Saturday, February 8, 2014
Final ride with the wind
There has always been one topic I wanted to write about, but on the other hand I didn't want to. The theme is too dark.
Today my mood is dark - I literally haven't slept for the third night (=hard coughing prevents me from sleeping). I am still very ill. And in the middle of the dark lonely night dark thoughts come to my mind.
I was in Ireland for the first time when I was 17. I loved it. I spent there 3 months, working as an Au Pair. I had one day per a week free, it was Sunday and I used my Sundays to discover either the centre of Dublin or for cycling around outskirts of Dublin.
One thing that I loved in Ireland were old cemeteries. Ordinary people, who died few hundreds years ago and they still have their own grave. Beautiful & peaceful. I could spend hours there, thinking...
This is not the case in my country. You literally can not buy the grave, you can just rent it. So normally it is the children who pay the rent of the grave for the parents each year.
Who would pay the rent for the grave for us? We wouldn't want to be a burden for our nieces and nephews. The thought that eventually our grave would be destroyed and a non related new person would get our grave, is terrifying.
So yes. I know what I want for myself. When I am gone (hopefully not for another 50 years) I want to be the ash that wind takes with it. I like the idea - to be free as a bird for eternity.