Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A book, laughing at me

Legs Up and Laughing: A True Story of What it Takes to Make a Family 
One of my favourite hobbies for the last 36 years was visiting local library and choosing books. And almost whenever I go there, I see this book, laughing at me. How much do I hate this book!

Few years ago, when I was in the middle of IVF cycles, I borrowed this book and read it in one weekend. Not that I really liked the style of author's writting, but I loved the story and the message of the book: after failed IVF you have to just keep trying and then one day the luck will be on your side. I guess that the message was completely something else - it is just how I understood it. 

Now, whenever I see this book, I feel as it laughing at me. 

How come that I was so desperate that I thought that after 3th failed IVFs the 4th will work out? 
Or - how come  that I was so desperate that I thought that after 9th failed IVFs the 10th will work out?
The answer is simple. I was so desperate. 

I am happy today. Reasons: 
  • after 14 days of not feeling well I am finally OK. 
  • after many many long and dark years of infertility I am happy that I am not desperate any more. I am happy to be able to see things as they are. And reality is that I have many things to be grateful for, so I am not willing to spend any more time on regreting the things were just not meant to be. 





2 comments:

  1. Klara, I am so glad you are feeling better today. And that after so many long years, you've walked out of that desperation - a desperation that traps us, often so completely - into the light.

    And books like that? They infuriate me. Because they're not honest.

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  2. I HATE all those books. All those infertility stories with happy endings, they suck.

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