Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Would You Tell Someone You Were Infertile?

I loved Pamela's post:
http://open.salon.com/blog/pamela_jeanne/2013/08/13/would_you_tell_someone_you_were_infertile


It made me think.
The majority of people talk about their infertility after they have had a baby. So it really gives false impression - that all problems can be solved with medical assistance. 

It is not true. I can tell. I have had 10 IVFs. I don't have any child.
(I am not sad any more. It just is what it is. My mission now: to get the best out of my next 40 years).

6 comments:

  1. Pamela's post is wonderful. I tell some people, I don't tell others. I still have a problem with the word "infertile" but I'll say "we couldn't have kids" if I want to. I make a snap decision - there's no logic to who I tell and who I don't!

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    1. dear Mali,
      I never use the word "infertile", it is much easier to say that "I couldn't have kids".
      There are very few people that I tell that.

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    2. I logged on to comment with the same words "I couldn't have kids". I haven't had to say it yet, but have had the thoughts running around in my head the last few days. It stemmed from running into an old uni friend who asked if I had kids. I just answered no and left it at that and so did she. But I'm sure the day will come when some pushes the question further. "I couldn't have kids" will be the answer.

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  2. I don't come right out to just anyone and never use the word infertile, except here. I do find myself more so now telling people, if it comes up in conversation, that we tried but weren't successful in having children and I am fine with that (because now I truly am). My mission is similar to yours, to get the most out of my next 40 years...enjoying life!

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  3. I also do not say "infertile". I love "to get the best out of my next 40 years". I hadn't thought of it that way, but it is so true! I am better at answering the "kids" question now that we are moving toward childfree living. Making that decision somehow makes it easier to answer.

    My annoyance comes at people who continue to suggest alternatives when you tell them you are okay with your CF decision. This happened with DH's cousin's wife at a family reunion. She knows our situation. At the reunion, she suggested foster-adopt. Then after the reunion, she sent me a link to an ad to adopt a 10-month old boy. We are done trying to become parents, and we are okay with that.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jen. As if we haven't already explored all the alternatives already before coming to such a difficult decision. I have also had the same situations.

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