Thursday, April 12, 2012


The longest friendship that I ever had was with Maria from Spain. We met in Dublin, in 1991, when I was nearly 17 and Maria was nearly 19. We were both Au-Pairs and for the first time in our young lives abroad. We were thrilled to be there. And thrilled to find each other. Thrilled to speak English. We met at English classes that we took twice a week in the centre of Dublin. It was something so special for both of us - finding a friend from another country.

For whole year we kept writing long letters and those letters were full of dreams, what we would do the next summer. Our plan was to spend whole summer together in London, as Au Pairs again. And both of us really found families to stay and work with... and we were thrilled to spend 9 Sundays together (our only day off) in London, in 1992.

In the next 17 years that followed we exchanged tons of letters and later on emails and met for couple of times - in Slovenia, Spain, Austria. The last time we saw each other was in Februry 2009, when my DH and I went for one week to Spain. We visited Barcelona, Madrid and the highlight was of course weekend spent in north of Spain with Maria and her husband. It was the first time that all 4 of us were together and we really had a great time together. When we said goodbye on Monday morning at the bus station (we had a bus to catch for Madrid and Maria had to go to work) Maria and I had eyes full of tears, because we knew we wouldn't see each other for few years.None of us thought that was the last time in our life that we see each other.

Maria died on Easter Sunday, 12th April 2009. Today are three years since she is gone. I miss her so much!

I feel so sorry for her mother.
And I feel sorry for her husband, the love of her life.

I remembered when I recieved an email from her husband with heart-breaking news. It was in the morning of her funeral. Maria died of heart failure (and she never ever before had any health problems).

I just couldn't believe my eyes. I dialed Maria's phone number, hoping and praying that there was some kind of missunderstanding. It was not.  Her husband picked up her mobile.

We talked for a while. And than he said he had to tell me something but he was afraid to because he knew he would hurt my feelings. I insisted that he tells me. And he told me that Maria was 3 months pregnant.

Can you imagine? He just lost a wife and their baby. And he was concerened about my feelings. He really deserves a medal of the kindest person ever.

With Maria's death I realized how short life can be. And that none of us really knows how many days / months / years are waiting for us. I realized that I have to start living NOW. To live in the moment. Enjoy my life the way as it is. Not to focuse on the things I do not have. But to focus on the things that I do have in my life. To be happy. Enjoy life. NOW.
The picture was taken in February 2009. We had a beautiful day on the Cantabric see. Maria was pretending that she was Christopher Columbus , looking at America. She loved stories and legends from the past.

Maria... if you see me typing these lines... I hope you know that I loved you. I miss you. I wish you and your baby sweet dreams. The two of you are my guardian angels now.


  1. I'm SHOCKED to read this post. I'm SO SO SO sorry for the loss - for you and also the family she left behind. And she was pregnant at that time? Oh dear goodness...indeed life is SO fragile and short and nobody knows when their time is up.

    Death is really a "good" shock to the system to remind us of what's truly important in life. THANK YOU for this reminder!

    Sending a little prayer for those left behind so that God's comfort is felt always throughout the grieving moments...

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss Klara. How devastating this must be. ((Hugs))

    Thank you for sharing this story. You are so right about how short life is and how we need to live NOW. I need this message to be pounded into my head.

  3. Klara, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, & the baby she was carrying. :( Life is definitely too short. It's too bad that sometimes it takes a sad event like that to remind us!

  4. dear Amel, Heather and Loribeth,
    thank you for your kind comments.
    Maria was pregnant when she died. And it makes me sad that she couldn't share her hapiness when seing magical two lines with me.
    This is one thing what infertility does to friendships - our true friends are always so careful when talking to us.

    Christmas 2009 was so sad. I knew that both Maria and her husband were looking forward to their first Christmas as a family. If everything went well, theri baby would be 3 months old for Christmas. But tragedy happened. I felt so sorry for Maria's husband.... how sad must that Cristmas had been. And how all Easters are sad for him. And her mother.

    What Maria's death taught me is really value of health. And life.

  5. Klara, what a lovely remembrance of your friend, and a sad reminder of how important health, life, and friendship are to us all.

  6. I am new to your blog and am reading up on some of your posts. What devastating news to get. So sorry for your loss, must have been a shock to hear about her pregnancy as well. What a great friendship you had.

    1. dear Marwil,
      welcome! It is always nice to see a new kind person on my blog!