Thursday, March 1, 2012

Mattie


Let me introduce you Mattie. She is the best friend I have ever had. We have been friends for exactly 20 years. And I hope that many decades of beautiful friendship are waiting for us. She likes me just the way I am. And I like her, just the way she is. 
(Yes, quote is from Bridget Jones that we both loved).
It is so nice to have a friend that you never have to pretend to be something you are  not.

We got married in the same year. So we always assumed our children will be more or less the same age.
Mattie has two beautiful children, a boy who is 6 and a girl who is 4.
The first few years were really hard for me.  I was happy for her. But I just couldn't witness her hapiness. Because her happiness reminded me, what me and my husband don't have and will never have. So I just stopped seing her for a while.

Some other friends understood my going away as the act of my selfishness.
But Mattie has a golden heart. She understood that this is just an act of self-preservation.

During this hard period she sent me a long email from time to time. And it almost always began with: "Dear Klara, I miss you terribly. I will write you an email, just to miss you a bit less...... "
As I read her emails, I almost cried my eyes out. I was so heartbroken because my infertility. But also so happy to have a friend like her. And touched by her kindness.

Anyway, each year that passed by it was easier for me. So piece by piece, we gained our friendship back.

I just came back home, I spent a lovely afternoon with her and her kids.

Some months ago we had a nice walk through the forrest. And to reach the forrest, we had to drive a short distance so the children were asking her with which car would we go. And Mattie explained them that we have to go with their car since Klara doesn't have children so she doesn't have  car-seats for children. So the boy thought for a moment and he said: "Well, if Klara wants, me and my sister can also belong to her a bit".  What a sweet comment! Isn't it? I was deeply touched.

***
Today I told Mattie that I am writting a blog. First question was: is it in English? (she loves English)
So if / when you are reading this post - just that you know: I love you!!!  My life would be lonely without you!

6 comments:

  1. She sounds wonderful. Life is so much better with those special friends. - Heather

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    1. Hi Heather,
      yes, she is wonderful.
      Another thing about her. She read Pamela's book "Silent Sorority" and Lisa's book "I am taking my eggs and going home" and loved them. So, she is quite an expert on infertility :)

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  2. You are one lucky lady to have a friend like that.

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  3. Your Mattie is my Jane. We're so fortunate to have friends that accept us we are. They help us become better people throughout our lives. I see you that way as well ... Oxox

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  4. Dearest Klara,

    I think I'm the lucky one to have you. You're one of the bravest and sweetest people I know and I'm so happy we're back together. When we were 'separated' I felt like I was mourning after a long-time partner and I was quite miserable at that time. Now whenever something happens to me, I say to myself: 'I need to tell this to Klara' and you always know just what to say to make me feel better. I'm looking forward to our 15000 days together and don't forget: You is kind, you is smart, you is important. I love you, Mattie

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    1. dear Mattie,
      thank you for your kind comment.
      I am also looking forward to the next 15000 days together!!!
      And for the start: walk next week?

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